Let’s be real for a moment: being a millennial in most mainline congregations is not an easy task. Many millennials are flocking to the big box, non-denominational churches thinking they are progressive because of their music, screens, and the pastor’s tight t-shirts. Later, they find out the church is a fundamentalist church in disguise.
The few millennials who have enough courage and devotion to be regular attenders in their congregations have to endure being the “token” young adult, often put on every committee, and expected to chaperone every youth trip because they “relate to the kids.”
But, it can be worthwhile. Meaning can be found. Growth is always possible.
So, here’s your handy guide to being a millennial in church:
First, and foremost, it is most important to zero in on the why of church. Why are you here? What are you seeking? Some might be continuing in church because of family devotion, trying to make mom and/or grandma happy. Others might be seeking real community to support them while they discover their place in this world (because let’s be real, everyone needs some help with that). Many seek spiritual growth or spiritual teaching.
According to the Pew Research Center, the top reasons people attend church are to become closer to God (81%), to provide a moral foundation for their children (69%), and to make them a better person (68%). Each of these reasons represent the response of someone who has discovered the why of church for them.
There are numerous reasons why a church will be a beneficial community to be a part of for a millennial. Not only will it facilitate spiritual growth, churches provide millennials with a sense of purpose, connecting them to a larger community active in changing the world. Being a part of an organization that is bigger than oneself not only brings personal growth, but also helps facilitate fulfillment and bring meaning to life.
Better than many institutions in our world, the church has the potential to link us to a rich history through tradition and worship. As young adults seek meaning, being connected with tradition through ancient practices, liturgies, and songs, brings an incredible depth and sense of community.
Once the why has been discovered, millennials must become comfortable with being the only one in their age group. Easier said than done, right? One must learn to appreciate the wisdom and advice (sometimes unsolicited) of the older generations. Church is one of the only remaining institutions in which stories and wisdom can be transmitted to different generations. While there are some churches that have thriving ministries to young adults, many progressive, mainline denominational churches struggle in this area. Be a trailblazer. Use it as an opportunity to learn the stories of other generations. If you’re lucky, you might even get a few adopted grandparents.
Whether you like it or not, as a millennial in church, you will likely be seen as representative of your generation. People will ask you to speak for the entire generation; resist the temptation. Others might stereotype you according to what they’ve heard about your generation (i.e. Millennials are lazy, poor, and unmotivated); offer them a new image. Some may even talk about those pesky millennials who never want to come to church. Show them otherwise.
And along the way, remember your why.