4 Lessons from the Spiritual But Not Religious

The religious world has been in a panic since the 2015 Pew Research study on the changing face of American religion. In the report, it was noted that there was a growing group of people who selected “None” for their religious affiliation. We’ve known for a long time that people were finding spirituality elsewhere. This study just named that dynamic.

These people have been lovingly called the “Nones.” Later studies have shown that many of the “Nones” claim to be spiritual but not religious, meaning they are alright with the God stuff, just not with the churchy stuff. Many of the nones have been with us all along, but have recently felt empowered enough to be authentic and say that they are finding spiritual connection elsewhere. The spiritual but not religious (SBNR) movement has scared churches who no longer know what to do without the cultural influence they once had. The SBNR are largely younger people who have said “No” to organized religion for the more personalized, less regulated experiences of spirituality. We can celebrate that because of the SBNR movement, people are taking their spirituality into their own hands. 

While many churches have been afraid of the SBNR as if they are witches (what’s wrong with witches, after all), progressive people of faith could learn a lot about religion and relationships from the SBNR. Their critiques of institutionalized religion shine a light on places that people who are loyal to the institution may not see. The spiritual but not religious have a lot to teach all of us about faith and religion. 

The SBNR can teach us that people practice faith in different ways. 

In the 2017 study by the Pew Research Center entitled, “Why Americans Go (and Don’t Go) to Religious Services” 37% of millennials responded that they do not go to church because they practice their faith in other ways. As progressive people of faith, we have to accept and appreciate people who are learning to practice their faith in different ways. If you aren’t sure where to begin in practicing your faith in different ways, check out our post, Finding God Today. 

People who practice their faith in different ways can enrich our lives and our communities. They can bring their experiences from elsewhere to teach us, guide us, and offer us wisdom from other realms of life and spirituality. As we are crafting our own faith and spirituality, how valuable is it to have the wisdom of other communities and people? Many Christians today are mourning empty pews and trying to grow their churches. But maybe they just need to recognize that there is other wisdom out there that people are seeking and that is okay. Progressive people of faith need to communicate to the world that they can stop apologizing to us for not going to church. We are all seeking wisdom and truth; we must learn to accept that. 

The SBNR can teach us not to categorize people.

Look. We know it is odd to say not to categorize people when we’ve made a whole post about a people group. But we are trying to learn from these people who are our friends, neighbors, and family members. When we say that the SBNR have taught us not to categorize people, we are talking in terms of religious categories. 

So often, we’ve visited churches who have talked about believers and non-believers as if they are two radically separated entities. The SBNR have taught us that belief and non-belief are fluid entities so there is no such thing as a believer. As long as we are using those categories, we are making our churches sound like exclusive clubs, which leads us to need to talk about the category of member. 

Many churches and spiritual communities are based on the idea of membership. In the old days, you had to do something to become a member—pray “the prayer,” get baptized, make a profession of faith, walk the aisle, etc. Churches often talk about member-only meetings during their gatherings or even talk with words that only members or insiders would understand. The categories have to stop for anyone new to be remotely interested in being a part of what is going on. 

In the study mentioned above, one of the reasons millennials cited for not attending church is because they are not “believers” (28%). Churches have sent the message over and over again that certain people don’t belong. Why have churches made themselves out to be a place where only people who believe the right things can go? People everywhere must get out of the category business and into getting to know people for people. That is the only way we are going to keep growing and crafting. 

The SBNR can teach us to give up on guilt and shame. 

You are not going to be able to coerce someone into transformation. Guilting someone into church will only work for a little while. The SBNR are people who have been guilted and shamed for not going to church, not believing the right things, not loving the right people…not, not, not. And they have walked right out of the doors of institutionalized religion. We’ve learned that you cannot make someone feel bad enough to come to church. 

If any community wants to be relevant in today’s world, it must be a community built upon love and acceptance, not guilt and shame. The only transformative power in our world is love. Acceptance is a fruit of true love. The SBNR have begun to teach us all a lesson in chosen community. Rather than being a part of community out of guilt or shame, the SBNR have modeled for us choosing community that is life-giving, accepting, and loving. 

The SBNR can teach us that tradition for tradition’s sake is not always good. 

How many of you have been to a church or religious community where they’ve talked about what they did last year? Or they’ve talked about how they have a great tradition of children’s programs, yet there are no children? Institutions get caught up in perpetuating traditions for tradition’s sake. In the process, meaning is not only lost but people become disengaged. 

The SBNR have taught us that engagement is based on interest and authenticity. Do you have an authentic community that is doing things based on who they are not who they were? Inauthentic community will continue traditions for the sake of continuing traditions. Authentic communities—the ones people want to be a part of—will ask questions of traditions to make them better, more inclusive, more meaningful, and more authentic. Authenticity is better than tradition any day of the week. 

As progressive people who are committed to crafting our own faith, we must commit to learning from people of all perspectives. These lessons from the SBNR just barely scratch the surface. What are you learning from others?